Twogether In Texas : Recommended Reading : Step Families
Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic, and Interfaith Relationships
Author: Joel Crohn
According to psychotherapist Crohn, 21% of Catholics and 32% of Jews now live in interfaith households, while marriages between blacks and whites more than tripled between 1970 and 1991. In his sensitive, smart treatment of this timely topic, Crohn draws on nearly 14 years of research into how mixed couples deal with each other, with their children, with their families and with society. Most of the book is devoted to interactions within a couple, starting with bad reasons for a mixed match (e.g., stereotypes of the compliant Asian woman; rebellion against parents) and moving on to cultural differences in modes of communication, in the importance of family, in the role of women. Drawing on numerous examples, Crohn argues that even when the couple is comfortable with their religious choices (an atheist couple of Protestant and Jewish upbringings, or a Catholic Irish-Mexican couple), divergent cultural histories cannot be ignored? Particularly when that couple has children. And if upbringing doesn't raise questions about diverse backgrounds, children often force the issue, asking questions as they try to pinpoint their identities and their place within both family and society. Through exercises, Crohn helps couples examine their cultural baggage, and through examples, he offers models on how to deal with conflict.
Stepfamilies: Love, Marriage and Parenting in the First Decade
Author: James H. Bray and John Kelly
In this fascinating report on the first major study of stepfamilies to date, James Bray takes a deep look into the workings of this relatively new family unit and identifies three general types: the Neotraditional, the Matriarchal, and the Romantic. The results? formed with expertise gathered from Bray's clinical practice and through a National Institute of Health study. He conducted over a nine-year period with 100 stepfamilies and 100 nuclear families as subjects. Neotraditional stepfamilies, which eventually look somewhat like traditional nuclear families, have the best success surviving the trials and disappointments of stepfamily life, while Romantics either fail or develop into other kinds of stepfamilies, and Matriarchals see varying degrees of success. This thorough and intelligent book, with its careful consideration of the reasons why over half of the stepfamilies don't succeed and its inspiring insight into how stepfamilies that work do it.
The Smart Step-Family: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family
Author: Ron L. Deal
Ron Deal explodes the myth of the "blended" family as he provides practical, realistic solutions to the issues that stepfamilies face. He helps remarried and soon-to-be married couples:
- Recognize the unique personality and place of each family member
- Solve the everyday puzzles of step parenting and stepchildren relationships
- Learn communication skills to deal with ex-spouses
- Honor families of origin while developing new traditions
- Invest the time to grow their stepfamily slowly rather than look for instant results
No two stepfamilies are alike, and the principles, information, illustrations, discussion questions, and activities in The Smart Stepfamily help couples focus on their specific situation to build healthy marriages and peaceful families. Based on Ron Deal’s nationwide stepfamily seminars, this material is equally helpful for couples, small groups, pastors, and counselors.